The weather is turning to Fall, the sun is setting sooner. I'm outside on a porch listening to crickets chirp enjoying a mid-day cup of coffee. Somehow, after moving my vacation week at least twice - I've landed on the perfect week for me to take a break from work.
October 1st was Cauda Equina Syndrome (CES) Awareness day. I never want to be defined by any illness or situation (nor do I ever want to define anyone else by their illnesses, etc.) But I do think because CES is such a rare situation - awareness is needed. It took two ER trips before doctors caught my case. I went to the ER on Friday, June 25 with a key red flag of saddle numbness. They did an x-ray and sent me home with steroids and a muscle relaxer telling me they thought my symptoms were more consistent with sciatica and not cauda equina syndrome (the ER doc told me verbally and wrote it in my notes that cauda equina was not suspected). A few days later on June 29th, when I did lose control of my bladder, I went back to the ER. They did an MRI and found the CES problem. I walked around with saddle numbness for 5 days before an MRI was done.
I'm now 15 weeks post laminectomy surgery. By all accounts, I'm doing remarkably well. I did join several groups on Facebook related to Cauda Equina Syndrome and honestly, I read some of their stories and I don't always feel qualified to stand among their ranks. There is a little fear in the back of my mind that I might have more trouble in the future related to cauda equina syndrome. Others have had future problems and I hope and pray that I won't have a similar experience.
There are two ongoing complaints. One is a sensation of tight muscles that is actually due to nerve damage that hasn't healed yet. The best analogy for it is that I feel like I have a weighted ball hanging off my backside. Sometimes it feels like a 3lb ball and sometimes it feels like a 10lb ball. This tightness extends to behind my legs and use to go down to right behind my knee. But every so slowly - this is improving. Ever so slowly, normal sensation is returning. It could take up to 2 years for full healing because nerves heal that slow. My left side is slightly worse than my right side. I notice this sensation more at night, as I'm trying to fall asleep. My day has ended and I'm not thinking about or distracted by handling other tasks.
The other ongoing complaint is bathroom challenges. However, even that has been remarkably better during this week of vacation. A silly fear tells me I shouldn't write this because I could somehow jinx myself. Hopefully, this isn't TMI for too many but one bathroom challenge I've experienced is a bit of urinary leakage first thing in the morning. But this is getting a lot better. I had been taking vitamin C and vitamin B but read an article saying that these supplements could cause your bladder to be irritated. A few weeks after stopping those supplements - things are much better. The other bathroom challenge is constipation - which for me leads to mini cycles of feeling semi-nauseous. But, again, I've experienced a lot of improvement this week of vacation. I hope this trend continues.
A big focus of this vacation week has been rest and refreshment. It's been several years since I've been to any beach but every time I have the opportunity to go to the beach - I head to the mountains. I've engaged in some activities that are life-giving, and have even tried some new things.
What Sort of Activities Bring Me Life and Refreshment?
- Swimming - at my own pace, not trying to meet any interval. I like longer swims - 300's plus. My back muscles near the incision tend to tense tightly as soon as I get in water that feels chilly. Thus, a warmup for me is much longer. I haven't yet been brave enough to rejoin a Greenville Masters swim workout - but that will come in due time.
- Art - I'm clearly an amateur but I enjoy it. Photography, painting even, drawing. I have already broken out the fancy camera this week.
- Mountains, Rivers, Waterfalls, Lakes - I do enjoy getting out in nature. I am being careful and not tackling long hikes on my own (nor very strenuous hikes).
- Reading - I'm always reading something. Always. I enjoy fiction and non-fiction. I'm currently reading All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot. I also started a new book on Hebrews (yes, the book of the Bible). I'm seeking to read it slowly - as a devotional type of book.
- Exercise in General - whether it's weights or walking the pup, I feel better mentally and physically. I used to enjoy running but that's no longer a good option for me - unless I seek to run in the pool with my aqua jogger.
- College Football - I am now a Texas A&M fan and thoroughly enjoyed watching Alabama get beat. Then I saw a video of the Texas A&M halftime show. That was fun to watch! The precision is incredible.
- Learning - I do enjoy watching documentaries and such. And I did start watching Dopesick available on Hulu.
- Sensory Deprivation Tank - I did give this a go earlier this week and enjoyed the experience a lot. I found it to be super relaxing and I nearly fell asleep! But more incredibly, my body relaxed so much that the sensation of tightness I experience went away (or my brain just didn't register it while I was happily floating). I may have to do this again sometime.
- Massage - now I have a medical reason to get a massage and I'm doing it. I have one scheduled this afternoon.
- Apple Orchard anyone? - This has to be the activities that signifies the arrival of Fall!
As I look back on the past few months, this emergency surgery situation struck right as we were making a database change / system upgrade at work. Knowing that when it comes to work, I have strong Type A tendencies, having a project that I enjoyed and wanted to get back to as soon as possible was a blessing. I had something else to focus on and provide some added motivation during the acute recovery phrase.
But there is a time for everything, and I'm very glad to have had a break this week where I can disengage from work for a full week and take time to practice some self-care. I think some extra rest is just what my body has needed this week; given that the bathroom challenges are significantly better this week. Stress can affect the body in interesting ways (even good stress has its effects).
I think now that I'm past the acute recovery phrase - I need to learn what the best new normal for me should look like. I will continue doing my PT exercises at home (a couple of times a week). Even though I can sit comfortably in a chair for 1-2 hours plus; I need to be diligent about getting up and moving. Otherwise, my back will feel incredibly stiff and tight later in the day or the following day. As much as I love swimming, swimming every single day isn't the best for me right now. I need to vary my exercise routine. Long car rides need to be broken up so I am not just sitting for too long as well. My next follow-up with the neurosurgeon is later this month.
Covid-19 continues to cause me some concern but thinking about it makes me weary. I do need some social interaction with other people. I have been vaccinated, and will soon also get the flu shot. I will also ask if whether I might qualify to get a booster Covid-19 shot. Of course, that might become the standard recommendation in the near future. Thankfully, the Covid-19 numbers in my area seem to be on a downward trend. I hope that trend continues.