While earthly life has definitive start and end time; all the starts and ends in between can sometimes blur together. When something seemingly ends, something else is beginning. I've been thinking upon this for several months now. The next few blog posts will attempt to share some of my thinking.
Picture this with me: A young woman makes it to work and sits down at her computer. Ok, maybe the woman is middle-aged; well, the woman is me. I went to work last Monday. I'm currently working a contract-to-hire position but from what I can tell it's becoming less likely that a full-time role with benefits might be the outcome (that is a different post where things unfold differently from how I expect).
Again, at the computer, first thing of my workday last Monday, and I immediately had to pause when I saw the corporate internal Christian forum post. The verses caught my attention. In fact, I had been thinking prior to Monday that I needed to look up the verses in Isaiah where it talks about God doing a new thing. Embarrassingly, while I remembered what the verses say more or less, I couldn't exactly recall where the verses were located. As Monday came around, I hadn't yet taken the time to look them up to see exactly what they said. So, God simply gave them to me on this corporate internal Christian forum first thing on a Monday morning:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18-19
These verses were all the post said. Only Bible Scripture - no commentary. These verses were something of an anchor for me back in 2020. And I blogged about it here thinking that I had somehow discovered what new thing God was giving me back in early 2021. But now, these verses are coming back to the forefront of my mind. Back in early 2021, I had thought that the new thing was returning to a full-time role where I had previously worked but working in a different area/department. Was I right? Was I wrong? Does it matter if I fully understand what God was doing then and what these verses actually meant then and mean now? How do these verses relate to terminations and germinations? Within the next few blog posts, I hope that I can adequately share some recent thinking on these questions.
To start with, let's go back to the most recent termination that stands out in my mind.
September 19, 2023 - I'm diagnosed with significant anemia - borderline needing an infusion. The job had been stressful for various reasons that I will not put into writing here. Along with anemia, I needed to go through a few scary medical tests.
September 25, 2023 - After receiving a work email unlike any other previous work email I had received, I shed a few stressful tears in the shower praying and telling God that if He would heal me, I would look for a new job.
September 26, 2023 - I find out that I'm being let go, a termination. While unhappy about the way and the manner in which things unfolded; I immediately perceive God to be in this; that I wouldn't or couldn't heal from this anemia in that particular job setting.
For anyone who has experienced iron deficiency anemia, you know that it can make you utterly exhausted. Somehow, I manage to attribute that exhaustion to other causes. It can take 3-6 months to recover from anemia. While job searching, in my mind, I envision a job role where I could go in, put my hours in doing less taxing work.
And grace upon grace, God provided such a job that started exactly one day less of three months after I was initially diagnosed with anemia.
Fast-forward a little bit, as I feel even better and better from the anemia, I start to find the job a bit boring at times. I'm used to having a variety of tasks needing to be completed. There are days when I question whether I'm where I need to be in this job (questions like, did I make a mistake?).
But God graciously reminds me even here that He sees me, and He knows where I am, and He cares about the mundane details of it all. On March 12, 2024, I came across a bird on the ground walking into work. I whip out my camera to take few pictures. Another co-worker concerned the bird might be injured walks up. I decide to move the bird to a bush or otherwise grassy area. This is when I'm able to hold this bird for a moment or two and get some really good pictures. The Bible verses talking about a sparrow came to my mind:
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." - Matthew 10:29-31**
I walked into work with a big smile on my face; delighted by how close I was able to interact with a bird and the reminder in my head that God does indeed see right where I am. Once I had the opportunity to ask my mom what type of bird it was (she knows birds better than I do) she quickly said she thought it was a sparrow. Of course it was. God is in all the details. I may not always see God's every move clearly (in fact, I'm sure I miss a lot) - but He's there.
I think I get excited when dates and special days somehow line up. One day shy of six months of being terminated, I discover an acquaintance at work is also a believer. Again, I perceive God at work, caring about the details, the new working relationships and friendships I'm making, all the things.
At present, it looks like my current job may be more of a bridge job. But I don't have the best track record at predicting the future. But God certainly has my attention and the way He has decided to remind me of His Presence and activity in my life after a rough termination and a rough bout of iron deficiency anemia makes me want to treasure these things (so I write them out) and share them with others who also may be wondering if God cares about where they are right now and what is happening in their life. It's not always easy to see, but God will answer those who cry out to Him and He will show up.
*Author's Note: This particular post has been several weeks in the making as I've been processing all that I perceive God to be doing in my life. Yes, I identify as a Christian and I know where I live, a lot of people say they are Christians and then do things that make others scratch their head. For anyone reading this who isn't sure what I mean when I say I am a Christian - please ask me instead of assuming you understand. A lot has been done in the realms of history to harm the name of Christianity.
** This particular verse was brought up again during a time of prayer today, April 21, 2024.