For anyone who may have read my last post but may have felt those types of experiences and perceptions of closeness to God don't always happen; you would be correct. There are seasons in everyone's life where life seems a constant uphill battle. Should you want to turn around and retreat - Surprise! that way is also uphill.
When these seasons occur in the life of someone who has decided that they do want to be active in a church body, that they do want to follow Jesus - life can become really hard as spiritual questions and doubt can start to arise. Not only is there the problem(s) at hand; but it's quite easy (and I would say natural) to wonder where the heck did God go? What is He doing? Why me? Why is He standing by and letting this thing happen? Why didn't things go differently?
These questions might not be voiced to loudly - but they exist. It's one thing for someone to live out certain values of a Christian life when life is more or less easy, positive, running smoothly. It's easy to learn Christian platitudes such as: 'one must preach the Gospel to oneself every day', 'fight the fight of faith', and so on. But these sayings (even if based on Biblical truth) can fail when life is rough.
Here's what I think we who are in the Christian community of faith should know and be ready to communicate: asking such questions is normal. And these seasons are not easy. But these types of seasons are acknowledged in the Bible itself and artists have given a voice and acknowledgement to these types of seasons as well (and maybe knowing others have experienced them can offer a ray of hope):
Psalm 77 questions whether God has forgotten to be gracious or merciful in verse 9 (I have a distinct memory of when I discovered this verse was printed in the Bible)
In Luke 7:19, John the Baptists sends some people to ask Jesus whether He is really the Messiah. John the Baptist had baptized Jesus and openly shared that he believed Jesus to be the Messiah, but His doubt grew when he was in prison.
St. John of the Cross from Spain, a Catholic known for his writing wrote a poem called "The Dark Night of the Soul." The title of this poem has been used to describe what feels like God withdrawing His presence and the struggle that can ensue.
A few phrases found in the song "In The Hours" by Indelible Grace:
In the hours of pain and sorrow / when the world brings no relief / when the eye is dim and heavy / and the heart oppressed with grief / while blessings flee / with no anchor here to stay us / drifting, sail and rudder lost / Then save us Thou, who trod this earth with weary brow
A few phrases from the song "Dear Refuge of my Weary Soul" written by Anne Steele (1717-1778) of England:
When gloomy doubts prevail / I fear to call thee mine / The springs of comfort seem to fail / And all my hopes decline
A song by Matthew West, "Truth be Told" claims the truth is rarely told as people feel pressure to have it all together.
I won't seek to offer any 1-2-3 step solutions to get out of feeling poorly when life is hard. I don't have any such solutions. But I do know it's ok to ask God the hard questions. A dear friend reminded me of that several years ago after I had back surgery and couldn't help but wonder 'Why me?'.
If you or someone you know is going through an exceptionally hard time right now, please do not be afraid to reach out to ask for or offer help, even if you are not sure what to say. You don't have to have the perfect words to ask for or receive help.